Poem: "Dreaming Of You"

Here are two versions of an original poem I recently wrote. Let me know what you thought of them (by commenting).

The poem is in Villanelle style — the first one does not have consistent 'b' rhyming patterns though the second does.

Dreaming Of You
Why must my dreams never come true?
I wander down the path;
and on the path, I find you.

From many come a few.
Only you can free me from my life's wrath.
Oh, why must my dreams never come true?

When I scream, who will come to rescue me? Who?
Our lives converge in a helpless place...
And on the path, I find you.

If we bond together, life will begin anew.
I get closer to you the more I chase,
so why must my dreams never come true?

When you run from me, is that a clue?
Am I do die a lonely and pointless existence, am I to die alone?
On the path, will I find you?

As my life is wilting, my love blossoms for you.
I come to you with my heart in hand.
Would you fly if I flew?
And on the path, I find you.


Dreaming Of You (revised)
Why must my dreams never come true?
I wander down the path, looking into space;
And on the path, I find you.

From many come a few.
My life's wrath only you can erase.
Oh why must my dreams never come true?

When I scream, who will come to rescue me? Who?
Our lives converge in a helpless place...
And on the path, I find you.

If we bond together, life will begin anew.
I get closer to you the more I chase,
So why must my dreams never come true?

When you run from me, is that a clue?
Am I to die alone, wallowing in my disgrace?
On the path, will I find you?

As my life is wilting, my love blossoms for you.
I come to you with my heart in hand, mixed expressions on my face,
Would you fly if I flew?
On the path, I find you.

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